I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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