her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
