we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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