you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
