He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
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I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Someone stole a lamp last night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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