You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
