i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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