That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
