I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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