Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
