hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize