i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
