ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
