Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
