wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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