Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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