she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you