sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.