Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish you could order shots online.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.