Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i think my cat just said my name.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.