Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who is canola oil?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're an idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans (1-610): who is canola oil? (610): you're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/vy3c
  Replies (64) Good night (3171) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis http://tfl.nu/alsr
  Replies (18) Good night (3224) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/pwuf
  Replies (50) Good night (4603) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies. http://tfl.nu/mtcu
  Replies (50) Good night (6776) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts" http://tfl.nu/th5a
  Replies (37) Good night (1617) Bad night (7016)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list. http://tfl.nu/l7yl
  Replies (15) Good night (4930) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it. http://tfl.nu/5742
  Replies (15) Good night (3602) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness http://tfl.nu/7ruk
  Replies (32) Good night (2112) Bad night (4783)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it http://tfl.nu/dcde
  Replies (5) Good night (2978) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall... http://tfl.nu/m552
  Replies (3) Good night (3318) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard? http://tfl.nu/5yc2
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I'm out of town so we should be golden.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me. (1-419): I'm out of town so we should be golden. http://tfl.nu/4amm
  Replies (5) Good night (2195) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night. http://tfl.nu/5yhi
  Replies (6) Good night (611) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again. http://tfl.nu/vkin
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  How is your new roommate working out

  (415): View more from California

  We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): How is your new roommate working out (415): We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good. http://tfl.nu/gu53
  Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (394)

Randomize