You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.