im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
