so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
