When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
