nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
