I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
