her vagine was all disorganized.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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