I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
