he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
