this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
