Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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