Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
