people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
