Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
