WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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