my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
