she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I could fuck to npr.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
