I need help removing her.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize