Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
