So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
