11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
