U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
