I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
