Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
