butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
