honey bunches of taint.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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