Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
