Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
