My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
