I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize