I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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