In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
