can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
