Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
