i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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