Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
