The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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