So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
