He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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