You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
