the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
