Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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