fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
