She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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