his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
