I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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